Why do luxury cars have to have boring, bland, unprovocative names?

"Nathan" (netochan) 07/08/2015 at 22:47 • Filed to: i don't know how to use tags, naming

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Why can’t I own a luxury car with a cool sensual name that may or may not be borrowed from a different language? Hear me out, would you rather own an Elmiraj or XB71050. Exotic car makers are able to do it. Continental, Mulsanne, Phantom, Ghost. Why are high volume luxury car makers having a problem?

“Hey Frank, is that the new Lexus FS651058a3jkgasltas5445? No Sal, you’re mistaken. It’s the FS56548620”

Now I know what you’re thinking. “It’s quite simple! There is a series and then a corresponding number usually to refer to engine size.” No . Look at the mess Infiniti and Mercedes have made with themselves in the last year. Tell me that you weren’t or still aren’t confused.

You know who buys luxury cars? Old people. Do you think they want to sit around learning their ABC’s and 123’s again? Grandpa almost figured out their naming scheme last year too.

Alfa Romeo tried to create a name that would provoke the minds of potential buyers.

They came up with Julia.

Julia

JULIA

The only car company I can think of with a proper name for their luxury sedans is Hyundai.
Genesis and Equus . Say what you want about the cars, but admit their names are pretty good.

What are automakers trying to prove with their naming schematics?

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 22:51

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I want the Predator.. don’t care who makes it, I want it.

But here’s how I imagine the Predator..

JR1 > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 22:52

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If one brand does it. All other brands must do it too. Totally stupid but that's how it is.

itschrome > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 07/08/2015 at 22:55

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I want that too, But with much more poor person counter measures. Is it too much to ask for the car to be electrified to the touch. Also some of those ben hur chariot wheels?

Round headlight enthusiast > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 22:56

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I want someone to produce a car called the destroyer. It has to be like a first gen Viper, but with skinny tires and 400 more horsepower

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > itschrome 07/08/2015 at 22:57

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I’m quite sure we can ad those features mate. Not a problem at all :)

dogisbadob > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 22:58

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I’ll give Giulia a pass because it’s actually a name, and because there’s already the Giulietta (little Julia). Besides, using a girl’s name is perfect for a car with a vagina grille.

It’s also worth pointing out that Porsche uses names on most of its 911 lineup, and they can probably be considered a high-volume luxury car brand by now.

The Japanese luxury car makers should use the JDM names. In fact, Acura even did this for their first 10 years.

Legend is an awesome name, and the car certainly lived up to it!

Lexus Aristo (like Aristocrat)
Lexus Celsior
Lexus Altezza
Lexus Windom
Lexus Harrier
Lexus Prado

Acura Legend
Acura Integra
Acura Vigor
Acura Domani

Infiniti Skyline
Infiniti Patrol
Infiniti Gloria
Infiniti President
Infiniti Primera

Jedidiah > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 23:02

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It was the lowest priced Studebaker back then, but the Dictator is my favorite car name.

Under_Score > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 23:12

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The models used to actually make sense. For some carmakers, it’d be a letter or a number, followed by the engine displacement*10 or 100. Examples include the Infiniti G37 (3.7 liter V6) or the Lexus LS460 (4.6 liter V8).

Some other carmakers, such as Acura and Lincoln, have a few letters. Lincoln is MK(letter), but Acura seems to have a pattern. (Letter)DX is sport utility vehicles, (Letter)LX (formerly L) vehicles are just normal cars, and (Letter)SX vehicles are sporty cars. This could be why the sport edition of the TL was called the Type-S!

Now, however, with situations such as the Infiniti Q scheme and the BMW numbers failing to match the engine displacement, these seem to be falling apart

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 23:21

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Because the people who buy most of typical luxury car want only two things: the badge on the hood and a bigger number on the back than their neighbor/the last one they owned.

If the number isn’t bigger how is anyone supposed to know they bought a better car?

I deal with luxury car buyers all day, and almost none of them know what model they have, they know it’s a 350 though.

Under_Score > Under_Score 07/08/2015 at 23:33

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Oops, ignore the first paragraph please. I just realized that was included in the article as well.

PatBateman > Nathan 07/08/2015 at 23:37

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Fun Fact: 71050 is the area code for Logansport, Louisiana. Population 1,573, median income of $22,546.

Bottom line: that's probably the wrong five digit number to put in the name of a luxury car.

wafflesnfalafel > dogisbadob 07/08/2015 at 23:55

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completely agree - Legends and Integras sound so much better than RSX, RVS, CXV, ACX, XYZ or whatever...

For Sweden > PatBateman 07/09/2015 at 00:17

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A five digit area code, huh?

For Sweden > Nathan 07/09/2015 at 00:18

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Because letters and numbers don’t translate into embarrassing words in other languages.

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > Nathan 07/09/2015 at 00:25

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Beancounter logic: Mercedes and BMW sell lots of cars, and they use numbers not names. Therefore if we use numbers and names we’ll sell lots of cars. And we won’t even have to spend any money to do it! Profit!

A lot of the actual names used by the exotica manufacturers have history behind them, which is why they can use real words. It’s harder to trademark a real word than a made-up one, so people who don’t have any genuine heritage tend to use made-up names.

Giulia’s a case in point. It’s a proper name, but Alfa have been calling cars Giulia since the 60s. It’s even got some sense behind it. Giulia is the big sister of Giulietta , who is named after Shakespeare’s Juliet. As in Romeo and Juliet. As in Alfa Romeo.

Goggles Pizzano > Nathan 07/09/2015 at 00:27

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Old people. Thinking they like boring.

Interesting you mention Hyundai. New to market and trying something new? Grab a younger buyer with a lower MSRP and hip name?

x87172 > Nathan 07/09/2015 at 00:30

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Phaeton begs to differ.

Then again, it doesn’t sell worth a damn.

PatBateman > For Sweden 07/09/2015 at 00:30

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Yeah yeah... Zip code. I'm tired.

For Sweden > PatBateman 07/09/2015 at 00:59

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You know who gets tired? Sheep.

Sharks don’t sleep.

itschrome > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 07/09/2015 at 08:40

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great, wrap it with whale penis and I’ll have my accountant call your accountant.